Early one morning in February of 2018, we woke up to our son in full blown psychosis. My husband got on the computer and phone, looking for help, as I tried to keep our son calm. Somehow, we were able to get him to the local emergency room. I remember asking the attending physician if he had drugs in his system and she said, “only THC”. From there, he was admitted to a mental health facility, where he was diagnosed with bipolar 1.
None of this was making any sense. Four years earlier, our son was gearing up for high school graduation, where he also received his 2 year degree from community College. He was gifted in math and had plans to get a math degree and become an actuary. He never created any problems for us growing up. I mean, he wasn’t perfect, but he was a good, easy kid. He played soccer and loved to downhill ski. His teachers would tell me they wished all their students were like our son. He graduated with honors.
In the fall of 2014, he packed up and left for college. We started seeing a change after his first year. He seemed edgy. I just thought it was part of the growing up process. We also knew he was using alcohol and smoking Marijuana. There again, just part of growing up.
He graduated college in 2017. That summer he waffled around, didn’t seem interested in getting a job. He was “dabbing” in our garage. When I would confront him, he would say, “it’s just pot. It helps with anxiety. ” Little did we know the damage it was doing to his brain.
After his stay in the hospital, he continued to smoke and dab Marijuana. Throughout that year, he saw 3 different doctors. None of them seemed concerned about his drug use. It is legal and believed, by some, to be medicinal.
The summer of 2019, he went through 3 months of mania and ended up in jail for vandalism. The fourth doctor we met with, said he had Cannabis Induced Psychosis. She wanted him to be sober 6 months before she could look at any other diagnosis. She was a game changer!
Six months later, my son decided to quit the weed. We saw our son returning after a couple weeks and after 3 months, the voice in his head was gone. I wish I could say he has been sober ever since, but it has been a struggle and he has relapsed many times.
He just completed his second hospitalization and is four weeks sober. He is starting to dream again, starting to make sense of the voices and has longer moments of clarity. It will continue to be a long journey. And we are praying for a full recovery and healing of his beautiful brain.
Submitted by Mary M.
Dear Mary,
Thank you for sharing your son with us at Moms Strong.
I’m so glad for you both that you are pursuing and finding recovery.
Collectively our voices are being heard about the risks of marijuana use.
I just read a Facebook comment on your story from a psychiatrist who is seeing about 2 patients per month with CIP. The problem is growing; so must our voices of warning.
Thank you.
Most people have tried cannabis and they don’t like it. So they don’t consume again. Many others see bad outcomes like this and also don’t consume again. It happens also with alcohol. A mature study should look at why people do destructive things, voluntarily.
Thank you. I am so sorry for the loss of your son. My heart breaks for us all.
Thank you. I am so sorry for the loss of your son. My heart breaks for us all.
I’m an old man now who lived through the sixties, plenty of pot and other destructive drugs. It’s been said-If I had to do it over again there’s no way I’d go anywhere near that trash. That’s what it is trash- it trashes the mind and the loss of years. I dropped out of college had no direction and just floundered around. Threw away chances that were important. As far as I’m concerned it should never ever be legalized, big mistake. keep fighting against the legalization and get out there and let everyone know the dangers of marihuana. I survived the sex drugs and rock and roll era but many did not. Some of those I knew passed away by drug overdoses. It’s a gateway to other garbage drugs and perhaps a gateway to a living hell.
To all who have lost loved ones my deepest condolences. For those who are in the midst of struggles may you continue to persevere and remain strong and hopefully be victorious in helping those trapped in the substance abuse.
Help end the use of this terrible drug.
L
“it has been a struggle”
Hi Mary,
I became addicted in my early 20s and suffered a psychotic breakdown early in my 25th year. This was 1972.
In spite of the agony, just like your son, I kept being drawn back to the flame of THC, hoping that maybe this time I could recapture the original euphoria that snared me in the first place – but that was not to be.
It was easy with the alcohol, I just stopped. No withdrawal whatsoever.
It took around 10 years before I was free. I did try again in the early 90s, but quit for good in only two weeks.
One thing that helped in those first ten years, was that I made the decision that no matter what, I was going to beat the evil that had taken over my mind. And that’s actually how it was.
It was like I was a mote in the center of a writhing sea of fiery tendrils, a churning mass of medusan locks.
I was holding on by a single remaining thread of sanity with all my strength. I knew that to divert my attention for even a micro-second would send me into an abyss of dark, mindless, eternities.
I developed a simple mantra that I said often: “Hang on! Things will get better.”
And over time they did, though it was agnozingly slow.