
April 20, 2019
4/20 Confessions of a Budtender
I worked 1.5 years as a budtender in a “medical” marijuana dispensary. As a licensed health care professional, I erroneously believed that I was transitioning from one health care field to another. In fact my belief at the time was that marijuana was superior to Western medicine.
I waited a lifetime for marijuana legalization and acceptance. I fell for the spell of marijuana industrialists, duping made incredibly easy as I was a marijuana user.
After sustaining physical and mental harm I finally woke up to the disgusting, dangerous reality of the marijuana industry. Commercialized, industrialized marijuana is a far cry from being a “medicine” that is beneficial to the human mind and body. Corporations are intentionally producing an addictive, super strong, toxic commodity in order to maximize its profits. The marijuana industry with its deep pockets, lobbyists, and PR machine has inflated marijuana acceptance and promotion, negatively affecting our society
1. The marijuana industry is producing toxic, contaminated “medicine.”
I trimmed moldy marijuana in the cultivation center, saw moldy marijuana at the dispensary, and sold moldy marijuana to patients. My corporation dunked moldy marijuana in barrels of caustic hydrogen peroxide so that it could sell it.
2. Marijuana is not being properly regulated by the states to ensure health and safety.
Though I saw the moldy marijuana and my corporation used hydrogen peroxide, I was concerned but discounted this information. Unfortunately my faith in the state to oversee the “medical” marijuana program won out over what I observed. I had completely bought the bunk of my CEO who stated that state testing regulations were “stringent.” Far from stringent, these regulations were not only self-policing and full of loop holes; they were also not being enforced.
3. Onset of heavy metal poisoning from “medical” marijuana.
I am very lucky that I woke up out a near death spiral from marijuana “medicine”, stopped consumption and sought medical attention. It’s ridiculous that despite the known dangers of heavy metals and pesticides, the Department of Public Health issued a waiver and then an extension waiver for heavy metals and pesticides in marijuana “medicine.”
4. The marijuana industry took a plant and made it into an over-the-top, addictive, grotesque drug.
I was completely gullible for I thought that as a budtender, I would be selling a plant-based medicine, not addictive, high THC butane/propane hash oil. With THC potency over 90% it is deserving of the name “crack weed”. The intense, powerful rush of my first dab hit with a “rig” had me hooked. As time passed and my usage increased, I became addicted to dab, completely powerless to stop. By the time I quit the dispensary and ceased consuming marijuana “medicine”, I had 11 out of 11 characteristics of the DSM5 Cannabis Use Disorder.
5. High Potency THC concentrates made me psychotic and suicidal.
Prior to working at the dispensary I had consumed marijuana flower. I was optimistic by nature, well-grounded and mentally healthy. After dabbing high potency THC concentrates for six months, I began to experience escalating daydreams about committing violent acts, including stabbing and shooting people. After 9 months dabbing I felt spiritually dead, that I had no soul. I viewed life as unending, meaningless suffering. With no hope, no reason to continue living, I began to see suicide as the only solution and began thinking about ways to kill myself.
6. The marijuana industry has a reprehensible revolving door.
Marijuana corporations, marijuana lobbyists and state officials are all vying for their payoff from the Green Rush. Unscrupulous state officials enticed by money are selling their communities down the river of harm and addiction. Political staff members and those entrusted to write regulations are wooed and cajoled to do the will of marijuana industrialists and are then hired by them.
7. The marijuana industry has increased youth consumption.
It is a no-brainer that reducing the perception of risk for a drug results in increasing its usage. Studies have been skewed to prevent the public from discerning the reality: states with marijuana legalization have experienced an increase in youth consumption. Since marijuana has been presented as a “medicine”, youth see it as a healthier option than cigarettes and alcohol.
8. The marijuana industry has led to marijuana fanaticism.
Marijuana propaganda coupled with addictive, mind-altering, high potency THC products has resulted in idolatry of marijuana by fanatics. Those who are neither seduced by the marijuana industry nor scared into silence are attacked. Marijuana fanatics perceive anything negative about marijuana as threatening. As a defense mechanism and fearful of public opinion on marijuana turning unfavorably, they resort to tactics of fear, bullying and intimidation. Mothers who lost their children’s lives due to marijuana are viciously insulted and attacked on-line and at public press conferences.
I was naïve and gullible when I was hired by the marijuana industry. I had no concept of the treacherous reality. My employment as a budtender woke me up to the inherent mental, physical and spiritual dangers from the commercialized, industrialized, heartless marijuana industry. Profit over patient is the marijuana industry’s unrecognized mission statement. Human addiction, suffering, death and grief are collateral damage, not a consideration in its quest for billions. My hope is that others will wake up to the dangers of the marijuana industry, before it is too late.
Submitted by Red Pill MJ, a former industry insider who woke up to the health dangers of the cannabis industry and wants to warn the public.
Read more about so-called “medical” marijuana in our Resources section.
Amen to all of this. And it kills relationships by making a person more loyal to the plant than to their (ex)friends and family. I wrote a song about it. https://vimeo.com/sunsetalliance/friend
I would like to ask the author how he/she recovered from the psychotic break brought on by potent THC. What was most helpful and how long did it take to fully recover?
It was critical to immediately throw out my dab rig and stop all marijuana usage.
For weeks I experienced a painful physical and mental detox. As I had no health insurance, it was a brutal, cold turkey ride through body spasms, nausea, cramps and psychosis. I would not recommend that any one coming off high potency THC do so the way that I did – alone and with no professional help. In 4 weeks I lost 15 pounds, as I barely ate anything, and slept no more than 1 hour nightly.
As the months went by and time passed, along with undergoing heavy metal poisoning treatment, my physical and mental state improved. It was difficult to remain hopeful that I would ever get back to normal. It was a tough and long road to full recovery as high potency THC concentrates had hijacked and completely warped my brain’s dopamine system. For six months I felt devoid of any and all happiness, experiencing no pleasure from what was once pleasurable, like eating, being in nature and hanging out with friends. I was also extremely paranoid and fearful to the extent that I armed myself with 4 knives at all times.
Unfortunately our society perpetuates an ill-informed and dangerous view of marijuana as benign, not a strong drug. Marijuana may not depress the brainstem and kill a user outright as with alcohol or opiates, but marijuana is dangerous and has directly and indirectly caused many deaths.
Marijuana is presented as a healthy “medicine”. When you confide in people that you are addicted to marijuana, many tend to scoff or laugh and this can crush your fledging drug-free spirit. Despite the destructive and adverse effects, I craved marijuana and relapsed. With societal attitudes, peer pressure and not many treatment resources available, it is certainly hard but it IS POSSIBLE to stop using marijuana.
You must put down the joint, bowl, bong and dab rig and allow your mind to clear. It may feel like you are hopeless and alone in your struggle but that is not the reality. Be good to yourself, take it day by day. Believe that you deserve to be a healthy human. Believe that you can change your life for the better. Establish friendships and relationships that foster your physical and mental health.
For me to ultimately break the chains of chemical slavery from high potency THC, it took recognizing my frailty and connecting with a Higher Power to grow strong and remain drug free. 12 step programs such as Marijuana Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, and various faith-based groups, such as Celebrate Recovery, offer free help and want to help you to break free of addiction.
You deserve a break from marijuana. Be good to yourself and take that break. You too can recover from marijuana’s harms and your life will improve on many levels.