I have such a hatred for pot and all recreational drugs, my name is Cindy and I’m sharing my story about my daughter and me.
All my life I wanted to be a mom. In the spring of 1996, my dream came true. I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. I named her Erica. Erica and I were always close. I was a realtor at the time and a single mom, so I took her with me to work a lot. When she was little she dubbed herself “Realtor Erica.” She was almost 3 years old. I gave her one of my old briefcases and filled it with some contracts and crayons. All my clients got a kick out of her.
One time she walked into a house and said, “Look at the view in this room!” My clients couldn’t stop laughing…it was the bathroom. She got the sale! They loved her.
Through the years we remained close. We did everything together. Erica was a pleasure to her teachers. She was an “A” student. She was very motivated and had dreams.
Erica was always around a lot of adults, so she had a tremendous vocabulary. Her teachers were amazed they could hold conversations with her as if she was an adult.
I got Erica involved in a lot of sports. My nieces were several years older and played softball. Erica admired them so much that she too joined softball. In fact, she started sports when she was 3 as I had enrolled her in pee-wee sports. Every year she joined the baseball team and in high school she joined bowling.
When Erica was younger she was the kindest, sweetest person I ever knew. She loved to give gifts to our family. It was always something of hers that was close to her heart. She gave from the heart and I was always so proud of her.
Erica and I used to go for rides together. As she got older she loved music. She would have me crank up the radio and she sang until her heart was content. We went “cruising” at least 3 to 5 times a week in her teen years. We also had lunch or dinner by the lake or in the woods a lot. We spent a lot of time together and
I loved being a mom. I still do…but things changed for the worse, much, much worse. I used to thank God every single day for the gift of a child. I was in love with being a mother. Now, all I do is pray and cry to God to please help my little girl! I still appreciate the gift of being a mom….I just want my child back!
Since I have been a child I hated drugs. I never tried anything. Most people I knew had at least tried something. I never would. My hatred for drugs ran very deep. To me my mind was something I treasured. I didn’t want it influenced by anyone or anything. I was strong. I raised Erica the same way. She too used to preach at people about the evils of drugs. She detested it. Like me, she fought against her friends and stood strong and tall and refused to try anything. I was so proud of her. She had a strong mind and she stood up against all odds, as I always had.
When Erica hit her teen years of course there were changes. We still did our cruises and spent a lot of time together but the teen moodiness set in. Still, she was anti-drug and would argue with people about drugs.
Erica had a job at Burger King when she was 16. She worked there for 2 years. She worked her way up to management very quickly. Her life was school, work and bowling. She enrolled in college at 18. Erica had such great grades, they gave her a scholarship. She wanted to be a teacher and she wanted to work with Special Ed children. She had such wonderful dreams. This was the time I started to notice a change in her personality for the worse.
Erica started coming in later and later. We would argue. She wasn’t the same. Then she admitted she’d dropped out of college. I was devastated. Erica promised she would go back the next semester. She did go back but dropped out two more times. Erica and I no longer talked. She was avoiding me more and more. When we did talk all we did was fight. I had a horrible feeling she was getting high. I knew the signs. I knew the devastation. She would call me every name in the book. Unthinkable names. I didn’t know what to do.
During a search of her room, I found marijuana, pipes and rolling papers. It destroyed me. I know a lot of people would say that marijuana is no big deal. Many people call it a “gentle herb.” To me it is Satan’s candy like all drugs are. It is pure evil. NOTHING good comes out of it. When I confronted Erica she called me every name in the book and ran out of the house. She moved out. She did come back and moved out a few times since then. Our relationship has never been the same. She hates me now. She is always confrontational and is not interested in the facts.
We got into a heated argument the other day. She said everything I taught her about pot was wrong that I didn’t know what I was talking about. Pot is good for your brain. She was screaming and swearing. She acted psychotic. She stormed out of my room. I went after her but she just got crazier and crazier and stormed out of house.
Pot is good for your brain…uh huh. I am convinced. A straight “A” student that worked hard is a college drop-out and can no longer hold a job. Yes, I didn’t mention that part. She quit Burger King and had about 5 jobs since. They never last more than a day or two. But, yes, pot is good for your brain. She has stolen from the family a few times.
I am at a loss. I don’t know where to turn. The latest news is she’s moving to Tennessee in a couple of weeks with her girlfriend (we live in Illinois). They don’t have a dime!!! They are selling their belongings just to get money. Neither can hold down a job. But again…pot is good for the brain.
I don’t know what is going to happen to our world with all this legalization of marijuana. I don’t get it. The United States has such a huge drug problem. How can anyone in their right mind think legalizing this poison is going to make life better? It is not!
There isn’t a moment in my life that goes by that I don’t pray for my daughter to become the person she once was again. There isn’t a day that I don’t cry for her. I am so lost. I don’t know what to do. I found your group and thought this may be a blessing to me. Maybe together we can help one another and our children.